心情日记 July 2024

 I start July 2024 strong, but Iam feeling weak.  

当一个人情绪很敏感时

一句温暖、赞美的话  。。可以让我很开心

一句negative的话。。。也可以让我 很不开心以整天。 

这个应该就是所谓的说者无心， 听着有意。 

1.

This morning, my husband asked me why I didnt wake up early to send YX to school just like how he usually does.  I said I have woken up early at 7am for this. but YX is playful and dragging the time. 

Then he asked me ....just now YX has ady asked for milk for 10 mins, why you never wake up? 

(Our arrangement is..whoever send her to school on that day will wake up and make milk for her at the same morning). 

I said I didnt wake up at the time.  Then he subsequently asked me....why I slept so late yesterday....

I feel so speechless....I sleep at 12am.... it's not that I dont want to sleep. I want to sleep knowing that I will wake up early in the morning on the next day too....but is it my fault that I am stress...overly stretched and that I cant sleep?  

Normally I would always asked for help...Yesterday night...I really wish to talk to someone about how miserable I am currently. 

Miserable about the future

Miserable about the direction. 

I am a lot of things to do...but I feel i am direction-less.....

I wish to talk to someone. 

but I feel that no one understand me. 

Whever I talked about this to my husband...he only give me a rational solution. 

My husband is not in the same field as I am. 

He didnt know much about the industry, but I will definitely answer his question if he asked. 

His mindset is.... it's your problem...you solve it yourself since I dont know much about your situation.

Can you reassure me?  acknowledge my feeling?  

Instead of giving me a workable solution which I have known?  

 

He indeed is a good father, he looks after our cute daughter , tidy up the household and everything after working for the whole day. 

So I dont didnt want to wake him up from sleeping because he needs to rest well and work for the 

2. 

The same thing also happened when I talk to my mum. My mum is also damn rational. Whatever from her mouth is very rational and proper. SHe also offers me the solution only. 

Yesterday midnight, I feel like I am a loser. 

I feel that I have no friend. 

I feel like want to talk to someone about my feeling. 

but I have no one to talk to. 原来我的人缘很差很差。 

I cant sleep. 

I watch TV to distract myself. 

Normally I will watch something entertaining to make myself better and forget about the miserable feeling. 

In the end I resort to talk to myself. 
Be my own counselor. 

Talk to my diary... 

Dear Maple Shuh Hong, 

You are doing fine. It's okay that you feel miserable once, because you are now juggling between

Property (Sales required thick skin and strong heart)

Tuition 

and you still wish to have time for baby. 

but I want to come out of this rat race. 

I proud myself for knowing how to seek assistance when Iknow I need help. Just that 原来的我的人缘很差很差。    怎么办？  

这几天 我和我妈闹得有点不愉快。。。

我才发现到原来我的性格犹豫不决，是 因为都已经有人帮我做决定了。 

I think that she is quite possessive, and that I need to follow her decision because it is right and proper and rational and safe and no risk

NO NO NO NO, this time I choose to follow my own path. 

Iam living my own life. 

My life maybe misrable now. 

but hey it is okay. It wont be miserable forever.

so that's It. I want to start working because some how....throughout the miserable pathway....execution is still fine....it will still lead you to the right way. 

Hey Kok Shuh Hong, 

it is Okay. Never surrender to the adversity. 

Train your heart to be strong. 

You will live your life with tougher mentality after this.