May 30, 2023

Death .....still searching for answers

 Death....something which is very hard to process. 

I mean it is easy...but it was just very heart-broken to process/to confront it. 

As I was having lunch,  I thought about the passing away of my sister's puppy, Little cute Sushi. (I got the news yesterday)

I realised that death is quite common in our daily life. 

I mean none of us like it. 

But it was really very in it takes place in our daily ordinary life. Since it is very common , why do we still feeling heart broken?  

I recall the quite recent ones.....

The passing away of Christopher, my high school mate , not keeping in touch all the time, but quite closed I consider 

The passing away of  Lee Guang Ming...this was so sudden... I wish he would always he healthy, up and safe. He was such a great figure to the community. We are not very closed, but again I can be quite open when speaking to him


dated back to some older ones...

My miscarriage... 

To be honest, it took me like one week/ one month to grieve over about it. 

But now when I think about it... 

I am not really that sad.... (I even forgot the date of my miscarriage)

perhaps that's because I have got my baby Yee Xuan growing healthily next to me... 

Some older passing away the passing away of WS's pet . 2 very cute tortoises. 

Looking past all of these passing away... I realised that it is quite a common things in our daily life. 

Even it means it is something very heart broken to us....

THen I wonder....

I also had my grandma...grandpa passed away at my younger age...

Why didnt I feel very very heart broken one ar? 

I was just feeling sad...then I moved on  already..... 

THe only reason that I managed to figure out was that the death of them doesn't impact our we can move on quite fast......

However, I still don't understand.... 

I didnt feel so heart broken like this (Sushi) when my grandma passed away....

What's the reason? 

Was it because I have grown up? 

Was it because the grown up can put themselves better in other people's shoes? So we can feel how people feel? it because we know how vulnerable /fearful they are? 

hmmm.....please tell me...

I dont have a solid answer to this....

I am wondering why.... 

Anyway, those who are in the heaven now will forever be in my heart. Irreplacable. Thank you for coming to my life.

I hope all of you would have a better life in any world you are. Forever in my heart.  

Answer to it: 

7 stages of Grief 


The answer from my senior friend, Kim Low. She is a very passionate public speaking trainer! 

Don't think we accept death because it is common. It is what they call acceptance stage of grieving. We human are survivors. Our brains will eventually tells us that we need to move on from something we cannot control death and emotionally we accept it.

May 21, 2023

Yee Xuan's diary : May 2023 She got her first tooth

25th  May :人间清醒


For instance: 

When baby cries while sleeping

Ws: Wait and observe first, dont attend immediately. Let her learn how to self-soothing 

Outcome : She stopped crying, she just need to have her pacifier in her mouth then okay already. 

Midnight, when YX cries because of hungry, around 3-4am 

Ws: Sleep on.  Dont let her having the habit of drinking in the midnight.

Action & outcome: We continue to sleep. She self-babble for few mins, then went back to sleep already.  

21st May :2nd family reel  

It was an ordinary Sunday, so I decided to spice up our Sunway by having little fun for putting family OOTD together! 

We went to the art Bazaar in conjunction of Wesak Month organised by YBAM  Malaysia .  It was in KL Getaway Mall, somewhere near Bangsar or Midvalley.  

YX was awoke since 8.30am. So she couldn't help but fell into sleep on the way here at around 10.30am ish. 

Honestly I was quite happy yesterday, because she slept in my arms while we were on the way here. 

When we reached the mall, it's daddy's turn to carry the sleeping cutie YX. 

YX : I was sleeping like when I were in my mother's womb. 😁😁😁😁


THen, I also bump into a lot of the Buddhist friends and Kayanamitra! 

so surprised to bump into Bro Yuan Han. 

I like everything from a piggy story. 


I actually had curry mee. but WS doesnt like to had vegetarian meal. So we had another lunch afterwards again. 

 14th May 2023 The first ever tooth! 

We just discovered it yesterday! 13th May. It was quite unexpected and the feeling was similar to when I got to know that I was pregnant! 😁😁😁

DO you spot her mini white lower incisor (Tooth)? 


So here's the fun facts

1. I gave birth to my daughter on my birthday

2. My daughter also gave me a meaningful mother's day gift by having her first ever baby tooth come out on mother's day eve

14th May 2023  不同人不同待遇😒😒😒

Daddy to daughter (YX): hey, 我们久久出来一次, 你不要睡觉先, 看看东西, 等下我们去买玩具给你。 😍😍😍

when I listened he spoke so softly and gentle to her 眼里都是父爱的感觉. I was envy. Then I ask WS. How about me?  Then he answered me... 

Husband to wife (me) :Hey, 老婆, 我们久久出来一次, 你要买什么什东西, 看一下自己的荷包先啊, 不要乱乱买~~ 😤😤