February 2, 2020

Maple's Diary | Jan 2020


今天, 感恩我有一个不用教课的星期天, 可以和老公睡到自然醒, 然后再去Thong Kee ate brunch. I felt totally at ease, I can adjust the time I want.

Looking at the what am I having know. It suddenly hit me that whatever I want doesn't fall by itself from the sky. I have this realisation, because for the past few months I feel very stress. As a freelancer, you dont have a stable income , how do I live the life I want in this way... what if scenario A happens, and what if scenario B happens? So I work quite hard to compensate so that I can still have a certain amount of consistent income even if anything happen. It works slowly and I am glad that it works. I feel like I have been working quite hard to achieve whatever I want right now.

差不多的收入, 过着差不多我想要的生活
今天早上这个很easy, relax的moment 原来是我在其他的364天,用hard work 换回来的, 原来这个世界就是那么的不理所当然。

原来我小时候的衣食无忧是父母365天幸苦做工, stress , sacrifice the time spending with friends , sacrifice their hobbies换回来的。

原来我小时候的衣食无忧,很表面的看起来每个星期都可以吃一餐好的, 是父母在其他工作天, 用effort, stress, tears, sacrifice换回来的。

I kept on questioning myself. Why didn't I understand this earlier? 
 如果我早点知道的话, 我一定很努力的做工, 也很努力的鞭策自己, 肯定自己的目标,execute it, and work towards the direction I want.

Why no body tell me about it? I thought. So I guess 只有自己真的亲身经历过了, 才明白那个感觉 , 也有可能之前不是没有人告诉我, 只是我衣食无忧, 不需要太担心, 所以讲了我听不明白, 自然也没有放进心里。

I glad that I slowly get to understand it now. Of course I wish I could have understand it earlier. I would then work very hard to achieve what I want. At least it's never too late I get to know it now.

I guess if I continue to work harder, I will come to more realisation, that motivates me to work harder. 

I would like to thanks my mom
My mom would ask me to quickly get marry and get pregnant so that I would have delivered by the age of 30, I will be healthier and carrying less risk to give birth.

 The moment that WS proposed to me, we are slowly getting into married life, 让我培养了要学会照顾自己和别人的想法。 and prompt me to think

What is the meaning of life ?
Why are we living in order to die at the end?
What is the life I want to have for the next 30 years ?

I would also like to thank my hubby
He taught me not to take life for granted. 

Never double park  so that you wont trouble other people, come earlier if I cant find parking
Always show up on time so that I will not delay the schedule of others

Save more money whenever you are young, so with the ideas to live the life I want, I work hard to save money every month , so that It would lead me to where I want to be in the future.

Because I need to save money every month, so I would limit my monthly expenses if I know that my monthly income is lesser that month. It leads me to spend money wisely or rather cautiously. Learn how to collect petrol fuel points consistently, because it would save me an amount at the end.

If I needed to spend, then spend in a way that I can save. For instance, paying with e-wallet, so that I can get cashback or collecting point.

I even developing  the habit of not ordering for beverage on the normal working day's meal , which I would have never done that when I was young.

So to KSH,

You have been doing very good. Although you are feeling stress. It is a good sign, it's a sign that you are living your own life. It's a sign that you take the responsibility. 所以在2020年, 把你的本分做好, 尽职尽责。The results will eventually show one.

I wish in 2020 and the years after, I would know how to take care of the people. Just like how others have done to me.